is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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