dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
