Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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