Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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