please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
