dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
