Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
