Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
