your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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