Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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