True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
