He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize