I hope mine doesn't look like that
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
