WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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