That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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