margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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