Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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