my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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