all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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