i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
