let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
