At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
