where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
