Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Randomize
