So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
