So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize