I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
