so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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