It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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