I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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