Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I just found puke in my bra..
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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