just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
