That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
