There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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