i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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