Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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