This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
