i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
