he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
