no one should ever give us hovercrafts
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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