im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?