Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Houston, we have a squirter
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.