yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.