would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.