Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Come share oat with me in your robe
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
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