dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
