i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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