if you like me you must not know who I am
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
