Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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