This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
