I seem to have left my pride at pride
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
