Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(519): View more from Ontario

and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.

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(519): and by charming I mean he has a horse cock. http://tfl.nu/nr21

Replies (40) Good night (8904) Bad night (805)
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(785): View more from Kansas

This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday

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(785): This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday http://tfl.nu/tvj7

Replies (23) Good night (5960) Bad night (791)
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(310): View more from California

He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.

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(310): He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance. http://tfl.nu/gr0i

Replies (25) Good night (9249) Bad night (787)
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(541): View more from Oregon

you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?

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(541): you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....? http://tfl.nu/ofi7

Replies (28) Good night (4731) Bad night (986)
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(980): View more from North Carolina

I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.

(704): View more from North Carolina

oh, you finally did the dishes then?

(980): View more from North Carolina

No, bought new ones.

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(980): I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight. (704): oh, you finally did the dishes then? (980): No, bought new ones. http://tfl.nu/21up

Replies (48) Good night (7660) Bad night (1308)
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(916): View more from California

Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?

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(916): Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool? http://tfl.nu/8wpx

Replies (15) Good night (6725) Bad night (1543)
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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?

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(709): How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship? http://tfl.nu/5n74

Replies (33) Good night (2328) Bad night (4638)
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(785): View more from Kansas

Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...

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(785): Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday... http://tfl.nu/8w3z

Replies (3) Good night (2502) Bad night (904)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.

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(+44): If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong. http://tfl.nu/d9uh

Replies (26) Good night (942) Bad night (6272)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note

(1+44): View more from

Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!

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(+44): Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note (1+44): Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud! http://tfl.nu/x31j

Replies (4) Good night (1066) Bad night (512)
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(816): View more from Missouri

Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.

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(816): Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks. http://tfl.nu/88uh

Replies (20) Good night (1959) Bad night (639)
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(925): View more from California

I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission

(925): View more from California

Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol

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(925): I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission (925): Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol http://tfl.nu/zmin

Replies (10) Good night (1856) Bad night (508)
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(707): View more from California

DON'T WEAR PANTS.

(707): View more from California

I REPEAT.

(707): View more from California

DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.

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(707): DON'T WEAR PANTS. (707): I REPEAT. (707): DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS. http://tfl.nu/9ogh

Replies (7) Good night (715) Bad night (262)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough

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(+44): He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough http://tfl.nu/6ovf

Replies (5) Good night (460) Bad night (476)
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(480): View more from Arizona

It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink

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(480): It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink http://tfl.nu/j4a7

Replies (4) Good night (836) Bad night (227)

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