you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.