butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.