Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
why do cheetos always look like penises
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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