So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
