i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
