Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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