i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
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This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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