just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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