2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Then you guys just all showered together...?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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