i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Randomize
