Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
