Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
