absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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