??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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