Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
