Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
