'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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