so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
