i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
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I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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