i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
