After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
